Monthly Archives: May 2007

Applying for Illegal Immigrant status

So everyone who BROKE OUR LAWS and came into this country illegally gets to pay a $2000 fine and then pay taxes on only three of the last five years?

Hey — where do I sign up?

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Culture, History, Humor, Life, Politics, Rants, Thoughts

Was the Iraq quagmire predicted in the 1950’s?

Hmmm.  A 1950’s book entitled “American Diplomacy” by George Kennan seems to predict the current quagmire called the Iraq war:

“In the old days, wartime objectives were generally limited and practical ones, and it was common to measure the success of your military operations by the extent to which they brought you closer to your objectives. But where your objectives are moral and ideological ones and run to changing the attitudes and traditions of an entire people or the personality of a regime, then victory is probably something not to be achieved entirely by military means or indeed in any short space of time at all; and perhaps that is the source of our confusion.”

I almost feel like Kennan might have been a time traveller.  Except that all he was doing was writing common sense.  . . . Something the idiots in Washington seem to have run out of.

  
 

Leave a comment

Filed under Culture, History, Life, News, Politics, Religion, Thoughts

What my dog thinks of Windows Vista

The picture says it all . . . What my dog thinks of Windows Vista

Leave a comment

Filed under Culture, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Thoughts

Actual letter applying for illegal immigrant status

(Actual letter from an Iowa resident – sent to his senator.)

The Honorable Tom Harkin
Phone: (202) 224-3254
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S.Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill’s provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2K fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as ‘in-state’ tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver’s license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Donald Ruppert Burlington, IA

1 Comment

Filed under Culture, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Politics, Rants, Work